Having only ever snorkeled once before (and only for a couple minutes), I was a little worried, since I remember the whole breathing-underneath-the-water thing to be a tad unnatural. Baptism by drowning, I guess you could say. Easy enough, I got used to it in a minute, and was off to say hi to the turtles. The large turtles. These guys were just swimming along poking their heads up occasionally, acting just like the turtles in Finding Nemo. It's funny, people assume that because they move slowly, they're super laid back. But why does speed-of-motion have to dictate your disposition? I've met plenty of old old people that move very slowly, and are the bitterest people you've ever met. But I'm sure that the turtles are just laid back. Even though we're disturbing them in their homes.
In addition to the turtles, there were tons of these black fish that had these irridescent stripes where their body met their fins. Almost like God had sewn together the body and fins with irridescent string. The pattern really did seem like the two parts were sewn together. I dove deep to get a closer look, only to feel the great effects of water pressure on my head. Damn, water really does weigh a lot. Feels like your head's being squeezed from all directions, all while your ears refuse to pop (like when you're on an airplane, chewing gum furiously to get them to pop, but they simply won't). I was able to get a closer look after a few dives, and was happy my head hadn't caved in.
He was also serving booze, but none of us really felt like drinking at 8:30am. Except one guy. Who ordered 3 large drinks. His wife must've been happy. The only guy on the boat getting shitfaced. And what happens when you drink 3 large drinks in a short amount of time? You need to pee. And this guy had to pee. Out in the ocean, on a catamaran, which, if you haven't seen one, doesn't really have a hull to fit, say, a bathroom. Just those two large pontoons that can support half of a deck. But fortunately, there was a "bathroom" in one of the pontoons. I put quotations around "bathroom", because, as you might guess, the pontoon certainly isn't large enough to climb into. You can only really fit half of your body in. The lower half. To essentially pee into a sink. And so there we are, sitting across from a guy who's half-immersed in pontoon, peeing, peeing, peeing. Looking around, taking in the sights. Peeing. 3 feet from us. I can really only describe the look on his face like Tom Hanks in Castaway. The scene that cuts to him squatting in the woods, silent, partially aloof. And then, all of a sudden, he stands up, pulls up his pants, and kicks dirt over his newest deposit. It was kind of like that. Without any outside knowledge that this guy was peeing, you'd just figure that he was standing there hanging out in the pontoon, taking it all in. But then you realize that this guy is peeing, and you're watching him! A tad disgusting.
Snorkeling and watching guys pee builds up an appetite, so lunch it is. We decide to head to an authentic Hawaiian style restaurant. Or so we were told. We were a little skeptical, but this place did not disappoint. A small hole-in-the-wall type place, complete with a kind, yet rushed/aggravated waitress who taught us how to properly eat Hawaiian food. Maggie ordered the Lau Lau Pork, and I ordered the Beef Stew and Saltmeat Watercress (short ribs).
Unbelievable food. And there's a system to it all. They serve you Poi, which is mashed up Taro leaves (it has the consistency of shampoo, but is really quite good). Basically, whatever you eat, you dip into the Poi. Onions, salmon/tomato salsa, pork wrapped i taro leaves, short ribs, everything. Really great food, and definitely not a typical tourist place. Thank goodness.
On our way back from lunch (Ono Hawaiian Foods for those keeping score), we are accosted by about 1000 people handing out flyers to shops along the "Rodeo Drive" of Waikiki. Total tourist trap stuff. But the one that was really interesting? The Waikiki Gun Club.
Yep, an indoor range on the 2nd floor on one of the buildings where you can fire any kind of firearm you want, including an AK-47. Because when you think "Hawaii", you think AK-47. And there wasn't just one guy handing out flyers for the Gun Shop. We must've passed at least 6 people. Very strange.
Out for a quick run to keep the legs fresh, and get yelled at by the security guard for not wearing a shirt in the lobby. Come on! It's hawaii! the beach is 50 yards away, and the lobby is an open-air structure? What are you talking about?! Oh well.
We took it easy in the afternoon, then decided to hit up a burger joint that our Lost tour recommended. Not authentic Hawaiian, but still a cool concept. Build your own burger. Kind of like a higher-end Fuddruckers. They give you a sheet of paper with a handful of categories, and a thousand items with checkboxes next to them. From there, the rest is up to you. You check off the items you want on your burger, and they make it. Simple as that. I ended up going with Tillamook Chedder with lettuce, red onion, roasted chiles, dried cranberries, and spicy sour cream on a honey wheat burger. Not a bad combination if I do say so myself.
The place was called The Counter Burger, and it is a chain, albeit a small one. (maybe 20 stores total throughout 10 states).
We decided to hit up a little jazz bar after, since we were just down the street from it. Ward's Rafters. We got directions, and headed down to it. Odd, these directions are taking us into a completely residential area. This can't be right. But then we see the sign. Turns out, this woman named Jackie Ward turned her attic into a private music venue that seats maybe 50 people, and she hosts jazz musicians. It's free (donation recommended), and BYOB. and she doesn't advertise, all of which lets her get away with having a music venue in her attic. pretty cool. Well, it was a Thursday night, and it seemed pretty dark, so we decided not to go in, since that would be awkward to walk in if she was just trying to eat dinnert on a Thursday (but then again, if you're cool enough to make your attic into a music venue, you're probably cool enough to invite strangers into your house on a Thursday night). Turns out the music is only on Sundays from 3-6pm. Good call on not going in. Maybe we'll head back on Sunday.
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